Here are the top 5 warning signs AFL Dream Team is ruining the game for you … If you recognise some of these symptoms I feel for you – Dream Team Addiction is just around the corner. Beware!
5. You know every stat value in Dream Team and your mind is filled of these numbers bouncing around whenever your player gets a stat.
Even worse though, is when you know all your opponents team members and the number pops up every time they score as well If you’re finding the relevant Dream Team number pops up every time any player gets a stat – in your Dream Team or not – then there is no hope for you – you are no longer a football fan. You’re now simply a bunch of Dream Team 2’s, 3’s, 4’s, and -3’s. You’re a Dream Team Geek.
If you’re a Super Coach player, then thank your lucky stars. Those numbers are guarded closer than Hutchy with his ‘scoops’ on The Footy Show. You won’t be seeing them ever, let alone in your sleep.
4. You get half time and full time Dream Team score updates via SMS when you cannot access the Internet.
(I am all for it if you only get full time updates, but half time as well is a sign you are well and truly gone).
3. Move over ‘Pagan’s Paddock’ – the greatest tactic in AFL these days in your eyes is when two of your dirty cheap backmen decided to play kick to kick as time winds down.
While everyone else is cursing ‘clock management’, you cheer just a little too loudly and reminding everyone how ‘tempo footy’ is going to keep you in Eliminator for another round.
2. You need anger management – you can admit you’ve punched, thrown or smashed something or someone for any of the following reasons:
– your DT player decides to hand ball instead of kick – your DT player lets a sure mark bounce in front of him – your DT player gives away a free kick – your gun back pocket attracts a tag (hello Andrew McLeod) – your DT player gets robbed because of an ‘advantage’ call (in front of goal this may warrant wall punching) – your low scoring backman is not getting involved in the short pass at a kick in – your player is burnt from the chip around that is clock management or “tempo” footy
And finally the big one
1. You would prefer to see your team lose if it meant your Dream Team players could rack up a huge score.
Sorry – but this is crossing the line. Not only are you a disgrace to your club, but there is no way coming back from here. Nothing is more un-Australian – it’s time to book yourself some time on the couch, and no I don’t mean with Mike Sheehan (although you might sit next to him in the waiting room…).